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Personal note

I believe in indulging in the different pleasures that the changing seasons bring, but sometimes it’s difficult to keep up. Christmas trees and music have appeared in stores, even before I have put out my favorite autumn decorations: a figure of a red fox, surrounded by a display of colorful leaves.

Breathing deeply, I tell myself to slow down, enjoy what is here, and not let myself be  oppressed by the sense of being rushed.

This week’s article is about how to do just that.

How to Avoid Holiday Stress Insanity

Along with joy and a feeling of connectedness to others, the holidays bring a rise in stress. Although most people over 30 experience a rise in stress over the holidays, according to the American Psychological Association, women are most likely to experience a sharp increase (44%) in stress, versus a 30% rise for men, as the bulk of the shopping, decorating and food preparation tends to fall on women.

Women are much more likely to shoulder the work burden during family celebrations. During Thanksgiving, women are nearly twice as likely to report that they will cook (66 percent of women versus 35 percent of men), shop for food (52 percent of women versus 32 percent of men), and clean dirty dishes (70 percent of women, versus 41 percent of men).

Men, on the other hand, are nearly twice as likely as women to report that they will watch football. (26 percent of women versus 46 percent of men).” (Greenberg Quinlan Rosner, http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2006/12/holiday-stress.pdf)

The same report found that women also find it harder to relax during the holiday season, and are more likely to fall into bad habits, such as overeating of comfort foods, in an attempt to handle that stress.

Start now with some of these tips to reduce the distress and increase the joy of the upcoming season. Here are some things to implement right now so that you can do just that:

Get ready for the Olympics!

Would you go to the Olympics sleep-deprived and bloated from eating foods that pleased you momentarily but didn’t provide the fuel necessary to do your best? And if you did, would you expect to win a medal?

Well, if you want to lead a happy life, you had better learn to prepare. Start with sleep: are you getting 7 to 8 hours every night? Not only do your immune system and memory suffer from sleep deprivation, but you will just plain be more irritable, even creating uncomfortable situations that wouldn’t have been born if you had been well-rested.

Create more happiness in your life:
No, not by doing more self-sacrificing things for others, hoping it will be reciprocal, but by taking time each day, preferably before bedtime, to think of three things that happened during the day that made you glad.
By doing this, you not only consolidate happy memories, to be recovered time and time again, but you prime your brain to look for things to be happy about.

Create more time:
Time, or a lack of it, was found to be one of the major holiday stressors. During the day, take a few short (under 5 minutes) breaks to come to your senses. Breathe deeply and slowly, and focus on what you need to do and in what order you need to do it. Trying to do two things (or more) at the same time makes you feel rushed and leaves you open to mistakes, which simply consume more time when you have to go back to correct them.
Believe it or not, you have more time than you think when you pause to calm yourself down. Only in calmness can you find clarity – of where you want to go and the best way to get there.

Stop rushing!
You can get so used to rushing that you don’t know you’re doing it. When you find yourself, head down, elbows out, going someplace at a run, stop and ask yourself, “What’s the prize I am competing for?” and “Is this the way to get it?”

Delegate, delegate, delegate:
Help your loved ones avoid helplessness; facilitate their completion of the tasks they believe are important to a happy holiday. Single out what they want, assure them they can do it, point them to supplies or resources, then stand back.
They’ll thank you later, when they realize they can re-create the warm sensations they associate with home.

By taking these simple steps right now, before the holidays hit full force, you can become resistant to stress, rather than having to deal with it when you’re in the middle of it, caught in a kind of stress whirlpool.

Next week I’ll be bringing you information about how to savor your favorite foods and not overdo it, even when other people press you to indulge.

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These steps, and more, can be found in my audio self-coaching program, “30 Steps to Serenity,” a series of 30 short audio clips guiding you through life’s difficult and stressful situations. You can find it HERE.
 

The Confident Introvert

Another myth I have encountered recently is that introverts are fine with no outside contact whatsoever. No, we enjoy contacts and stimulation that we get outside of our own nests; we just need to control how much we get all at one time.

A great party with lots of people may be very enjoyable for a confident introvert – for a limited time. We’re the ones who leave early when we’ve had enough stimulation, just as some people quit eating when they’ve had enough.

It’s not a reflection on the host. It’s a reflection of the fact that we recognize and pay attention to our inner needs, always a healthy way to live.

Find out more about The Confident Introvert: http://www.ConfidentIntrovert.com.