I heard a wonderful story last night, from a woman who has had a varied, interesting andfrom any standpoint, successful, life. Her secret? She didn’t know there was a glass ceiling! In fact, she wasn’t aware of most barriers that frustrate the rest of us.
Here is a story she told: At one point in her career, she served as Assistant Commissioner of Prisons (a novel role for a woman right there.) Along the way, the newly-elected Governor appointed a new Commissioner of Prisons, a young man who apparently had conventional ideas about how things should run and what were the proper roles of men and women in the workplace.
In one of their first encounters, he took her gently by the elbow, and asked, “Betsy, can you type?”
At this point, most women would start breathing tensely, their muscles becoming rigid, ascertaining (probably correctly) they were being nudged into the traditional female role of lower-level support staff.
Surely being asked if they could make coffee would be next.
Betsy however, in all innocence, didn’t get the implications. She simply grasped him by both elbows, smiled, and said sweetly, “No, Tom. Can you?”
A woman who has worked successfully in many different areas during her multiple careers, she attributes her resilience and ability to bounce back when jobs folded and circumstances changed to the fact that it never occurred to her that she was blocked. She just went forward and found – no, apparently created – a new opportunity in a new field.
What would you do if the barriers you encounter were really just gauze?
More to the point if this question: what if you didn’t know there were barriers? What if you didn’t believe they existed?
Pretend you’re Harry Potter boarding the train for Hogwarts, the school that transformed his life. In order to get to the train, he had to go to King’s Cross Station and find Platform 9 ¾, which was entered by walking directly into what seemed to be a concrete pillar, only to find that the pillar was an illusion in which most people believed, but the students who were embarking on the study of magic took their first step by not believing in the illusion. They emerged on the other side, ready to board the train that would take them to a whole new and exciting life.
What seeming barriers are you facing? Instead of backing up in fear, consider walking forward boldly into the barrier. After all, if believing in the barrier is trapping you in a less-than-satisfying life, why believe that it would hurt more if you challenged that barrier?
Nothing hurts more than an unfulfilled life.
The Confident Introvert
“What are they afraid of?” my department manager used to ask after meetings in which a number of department members sat, silent and resentful, while he was unaware that his habit of springing surprise agenda items and asking for an immediate decision was very upsetting to these talented, educated introverts. Understanding, appreciating and utilizing the skills of introversion are foreign ideas to some – even to introverts. Now you can read about it in
The Confident Introvert.
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