{"id":1548,"date":"2013-05-19T18:35:07","date_gmt":"2013-05-19T18:35:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/creativelifechanges.com\/?p=1548"},"modified":"2017-11-17T07:21:17","modified_gmt":"2017-11-17T07:21:17","slug":"are-you-carrying-some-introvert-baggage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/quietbrillianceconsulting.com\/are-you-carrying-some-introvert-baggage\/","title":{"rendered":"Are you carrying some introvert baggage?"},"content":{"rendered":"
Being different from other people is always stressful, and we\u2019re all different from one another in a variety of ways.\u00a0 It leads to misunderstandings, and even worse, to some of us evaluating others of us as being deficient in some way.<\/span><\/p>\n I often find myself being a mediator between people who don\u2019t understand each other, and I particularly love standing up for people I believe are in the position of underdogs, particularly when I\u2019m very familiar with the underdog position.<\/span><\/p>\n So here\u2019s my latest attempt to make the world a more peaceful place.<\/span><\/p>\n Many people do; some of them are introverts, the others are extroverts.<\/span><\/p>\n The basic definition of an introvert is of someone who is very sensitive to external stimulation and needs to withdraw periodically because our energy is depleted by too much stimulation<\/strong>, whereas an extrovert is someone who goes out and seeks stimulation, often social stimulation, in order to be energized.<\/span><\/p>\n That being said, there are a lot of assumptions that go along with introversion, some of which I call \u201cintrovert baggage.\u201d <\/strong>\u00a0Not all of the people who carry this baggage are introverts.<\/span><\/p>\n In \u201c12 Most Expeditious Ways to Alienate Your Introverted Colleagues<\/strong>\u201d, Beth Buelow describes \u00a0how non-introverts (ok, extroverts) unwittingly make life difficult for introverts and shut down any effective communication because of their assumptions. (See her full article HERE<\/a>)<\/span><\/p>\n Included in her list are non-stop talking (to deal with the threat that silence may actually occur every now and then?), saying \u201cYou\u2019re awfully quiet, aren\u2019t you? or worse yet, \u201cYou\u2019re shy, aren\u2019t you?; forcing introverts to work in groups, socialize when they don\u2019t want to, or basing an evaluation of their work solely on degree of participation; and assuming that the quieter behavior of an introvert is due to everything from indifference to stupidity to plotting. \u00a0Whew! \u00a0All that from the simple fact that some of us need to replenish one\u2019s energy in private every now and then.<\/span><\/p>\n But introverts are complicit in this whole thing, too.<\/strong> \u00a0Instead of recognizing that what we are dealing with is an energy problem, and should be handled by setting aside quiet times to refuel, and by choosing our activities wisely, too many of us spend our lives in a kind of defensive crouch, trying to avoid human contact altogether, then wondering why we don\u2019t feel loved or appreciated.<\/span><\/p>\n Too many of us say, \u201cI don\u2019t want to waste my time on idle chit-chat; I just want to have meaningful conversations and relationships, too.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Well, I\u2019ve got news for you.<\/strong> \u00a0It doesn\u2019t happen that way. People need to connect; some of us more carefully and in smaller groups. \u00a0But we need to connect: to feel healthy, to feel whole, to feel love and joy, and yes, to do business, too. Connections don\u2019t happen the minute two pairs of eyes meet; they take time to develop.<\/span><\/p>\n Here are some guidelines for getting rid of that extra baggage , and being a proud and confident introvert who can connect with others without being sucked into their lives:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0– \u00a0You will get better with practice<\/span> Oh, and extroverts:<\/strong> \u00a0When we withdraw, don\u2019t automatically assume we\u2019re rejecting you. Learn to stop and listen when you are around a quiet person. \u00a0We can be gold mines of imagination and creativity and occasional oases of peace in your life.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cWhat are they afraid of?\u201d<\/strong> my department manager used to ask after meetings in which a number of department members sat, silent and resentful, while he was unaware that his habit of springing surprise agenda items and asking for an immediate decision was very upsetting to these talented, educated introverts. Understanding, appreciating and utilizing the skills of introversion are foreign ideas to some \u2013 even to introverts. Now you can read about it in<\/span> Personal note Being different from other people is always stressful, and we\u2019re all different from one another in a variety of ways.\u00a0 It leads to misunderstandings, and even worse, to some of us evaluating others of us as being deficient in some way. I often find myself being a mediator between people who don\u2019t understand […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[1],"tags":[373,374,303,375,376,377,378,306,93,11,379,380,83,106,32,381],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\nAre you carrying some introvert baggage?<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n
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\n \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0– \u00a0Each episode counts for less in the general scheme of things, as one awkward experience can be diluted by the sheer numbers.<\/span><\/p>\nThe Confident Introvert<\/span><\/h2>\n
\n The Confident Introvert.<\/em>
\nOrder now at http:\/\/www.ConfidentIntrovert.