{"id":1647,"date":"2013-08-26T11:14:42","date_gmt":"2013-08-26T11:14:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/creativelifechanges.com\/?p=1647"},"modified":"2017-11-17T06:26:09","modified_gmt":"2017-11-17T06:26:09","slug":"make-it-easy-on-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/quietbrillianceconsulting.com\/make-it-easy-on-yourself\/","title":{"rendered":"Make It Easy On Yourself"},"content":{"rendered":"

Make it easy on yourself:<\/span><\/p>\n

Have you ever been caught in a race that never ends:\u00a0<\/strong> one in which the big prize at the end is as far out of reach as it is when you started, and the small rewards along the way that might sustain you\u00a0 have gotten to be scarcer and scarcer?\u00a0 Perhaps the big prize no longer seems enticing, or even appropriate, but you\u2019ve been so busy you haven\u2019t even noticed its allure fading.<\/span><\/p>\n

Everybody experiences this at some time.\u00a0<\/strong> Why do we keep chugging along, like an overloaded train when the steam has dissipated. Our heads are filled with fine phrases, such as \u201cPersistence pays off\u201d or \u201cSuccess comes the day after you give up\u201d or the short but harsh, \u201cNo excuses.\u201d\u00a0 The implication is that someone who doesn\u2019t heed these warnings somehow doesn\u2019t have the right stuff to\u00a0 — well, to do what?<\/span>
\n
\nI think these experiences occur\u00a0 because we have confused a goal with the various paths to that goal, some of which become dead-ends.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

I faced this when, as a dancer, I realized I couldn\u2019t (and didn\u2019t want to) live my entire life engaged in strenuous and increasingly painful physical activity that wasn\u2019t bringing me the quality of life I desired. \u00a0The intrinsic reward, the joy of dancing, was diminishing year by year, but the home, warm relationship, leisure, and other creative activities I wanted seemed to be getting farther and farther away.<\/span><\/p>\n

Yes, there was grieving when I quit.\u00a0 But I also found that the time and energy I had put into dancing became enough time and energy for so many delightful activities I had delayed: first,\u00a0 ballroom dancing, then ice skating, travel and\u00a0 language study, music, and eventually, writing and public speaking.\u00a0 To my surprise, my initial goal, to use my delight and passion to move other people through my performance never went away.\u00a0<\/strong> I had just found different roads to get there.<\/span><\/p>\n

A student of mine once was devastated because her grades had dropped so far she believed she would never get into law school.\u00a0 We explored why that was so devastating; what would happen if she didn\u2019t get into law school?\u00a0 She broke down and wept, \u201cThen I can never be happy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I had to persuade her that getting a law degree wasn\u2019t a goal; there are many reasons why people want a law degree, including (but not limited to) a desire for a high income, prestige, a stepping stone into politics, or the need to seek justice for the weaker members of society. These are goals; the law degree was the path she had selected.<\/span><\/p>\n

In her case, the desire to fulfill her parents\u2019 dreams for her had been fueling her ambition \u2013 until the fuel ran out. <\/strong>She couldn\u2019t do it anymore. A conversation with her parents led to a switch to a career in lab science, where she happily analyzes data, freed from the need to be bold and assertive.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you have furnished your dream in too great detail, including the pathway to the door of that dream, you may have locked yourself into a rigid pattern that not only isn\u2019t bringing you happiness, but may even be retarding your efforts to realize your dream.<\/span>
\n
\nStop beating yourself up and asking why you can\u2019t seem to stick to the work load.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t be afraid to back off and say, \u201cThis isn\u2019t working for me.\u201d\u00a0 Don\u2019t let anyone convince you that you haven\u2019t the \u201cright stuff\u201d to succeed if you won\u2019t sacrifice your mental and physical well-being in pursuit of that goal.<\/span><\/p>\n

Take the time to explore what your heart desires. Jettison any activities (and people) who don\u2019t support you in that quest<\/span><\/p>\n

Just don\u2019t call it quitting. \u00a0You\u2019ll know you have found your true goal when the energy starts to flow, making activity irresistible. \u00a0\u00a0Don\u2019t call it quitting; call it redirecting your energy.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

The Confident Introvert<\/span><\/h2>\n

\u201cWhat are they afraid of?\u201d<\/strong> my department manager used to ask after meetings in which a number of department members sat, silent and resentful, while he was unaware that his habit of springing surprise agenda items and asking for an immediate decision was very upsetting to these talented, educated introverts. Understanding, appreciating and utilizing the skills of introversion are foreign ideas to some \u2013 even to introverts. Now you can read about it in<\/span>
\n The Confident Introvert.<\/em>
\nOrder now at http:\/\/www.ConfidentIntrovert.com<\/a><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Make it easy on yourself: Have you ever been caught in a race that never ends:\u00a0 one in which the big prize at the end is as far out of reach as it is when you started, and the small rewards along the way that might sustain you\u00a0 have gotten to be scarcer and scarcer?\u00a0 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[1],"tags":[440,441,442,443,11,444,445,338,446,83,106,32,447,190],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\nMake It Easy On Yourself - Quiet Brilliance Consulting<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/quietbrillianceconsulting.com\/make-it-easy-on-yourself\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Make It Easy On Yourself - 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