{"id":1830,"date":"2014-02-25T08:30:29","date_gmt":"2014-02-25T08:30:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/creativelifechanges.com\/?p=1830"},"modified":"2017-11-17T05:13:59","modified_gmt":"2017-11-17T05:13:59","slug":"are-introverts-just-too-quiet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/quietbrillianceconsulting.com\/are-introverts-just-too-quiet\/","title":{"rendered":"Are Introverts just too quiet?"},"content":{"rendered":"

 <\/p>\n

I hear it often \u2013 in person, from clients, on the internet \u2013 \u201cI\u2019m told I\u2019m too quiet, and need to speak out more.\u201d I\u2019ve had more than one client whose job review\u00a0included that feedback. And the client says to me, \u201cBut I only speak when I really have something to say \u2013 and then it\u2019s overlooked or discounted. So why bother?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Why indeed do introverts so often feel their ideas and offerings are swept aside by other, louder people?<\/strong> Is the ability to influence other people really based on the ability to speak louder than other people?<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t think so. Some of the most effective people I have known were soft-spoken but relentless. They didn\u2019t give up on presenting their ideas, wants, or needs to others until they saw the light of comprehension in the other person\u2019s eyes.<\/span><\/p>\n

The introvert brain is a busy brain, and when we do produce an idea publicly we have probably looked at it from all angles, teased out the many objections and answered them. Blurting out an idea<\/em> about an idea before it\u2019s fully formed is not our style. Our mistake lies in the fact that we then communicate it in a kind of telegraphic style to the world.<\/span><\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the problem, and I\u2019ve seen it over and over. <\/strong>Heck, I\u2019ve done<\/em> it over and over. We somehow think our neat summing up of a complex issue is immediately apparent to other people, who have not been a witness to all the rich thought that went into the production of that idea.<\/span><\/p>\n

We just give them a compact package, and then feel hurt when they don\u2019t respond with the excitement (or at least the respect) we think it deserves. We got to that point of excitement and belief through a process that we haven\u2019t shared, then we blame the listener for not appreciating it.<\/span><\/p>\n

We need to learn to lead others to our good ideas, to teach them how to understand us.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

An unconfident introvert too often starts with, \u201cThis is just my opinion, but \u2026 \u201d or, \u201cThis may or may not be a good idea, but \u2026.\u201d<\/strong> Overwhelmed with the belief that it\u2019s hopeless to inform this person or group anyway, the unconfident introvert subsides easily, feeling overlooked and a little bitter.<\/span><\/p>\n

The confident introvert starts with, \u201cI\u2019ve thought this through carefully, and I\u2019d like you to follow my reasoning here.\u201d<\/strong> Another good sentence to use, which reflects a high-level introvert skill, is, \u201cI\u2019ve listened to the various thoughts you all have, and I\u2019d like to add what I have concluded.\u201d When interrupted, the confident introvert may say, \u201cI\u2019d like to finish; then I\u2019d be happy to discuss your objections.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Since you are very likely to have thought in advance, find an anecdote or punch line that illustrates what you are trying to say. Help your listeners make pictures in their heads that match the pictures in your head. They can\u2019t see those. After all, if you just describe the tip of an iceberg to someone, it isn\u2019t reasonable to get mad if the person doesn\u2019t see the whole iceberg. Would you show someone a snapshot and expect them to understand the plot of an entire film?<\/span><\/p>\n

Which one are you \u2013 the unconfident or confident introvert? <\/strong>You see, it\u2019s not about introversion and\/or extroversion, nor is it about becoming either a chatterbox or a loudmouth. It\u2019s about having the confidence to communicate well when you do<\/em> have something to say.<\/span><\/p>\n

And when you are able to do that, you have earned the right to sit back and be quiet in a group. Even your quiet presence can be influencing to people, who recognize that you can be a powerhouse of thought and that your quiet listening skills really do pay off.<\/span><\/p>\n

If \u00a0you are an introvert with a passion to share with the world and you need help communicating your dreams in speech or writing, I’m available to help you craft taglines, elevator speeches, sound bites and more. \u00a0I can help you overcome obstacles to delivering these communications, too. \u00a0Contact me at\u00a0Lynette@CreativeLifeChanges.com<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

_______________________________________________________________________<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n

Lynette Crane is a Minneapolis-based speaker, writer, and coach. She has more than 30 years’ experience in the field of stress and time management and personal growth. Her latest book is The Confident Introvert, written to help introverts overcome the stress of living in a culture that idealizes extroversion, so that they can thrive, and not just survive.Visit her website at http:\/\/www.creativelifechanges.com\/<\/a> to see more in-depth articles and to view her programs.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

  I hear it often \u2013 in person, from clients, on the internet \u2013 \u201cI\u2019m told I\u2019m too quiet, and need to speak out more.\u201d I\u2019ve had more than one client whose job review\u00a0included that feedback. And the client says to me, \u201cBut I only speak when I really have something to say \u2013 and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[1],"tags":[549,550,551,303,535,536,378,321,11,552,106,15,32,389,553],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\nAre Introverts just too quiet? - Quiet Brilliance Consulting<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/quietbrillianceconsulting.com\/are-introverts-just-too-quiet\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Are Introverts just too quiet? - Quiet Brilliance Consulting\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"  I hear it often \u2013 in person, from clients, on the internet \u2013 \u201cI\u2019m told I\u2019m too quiet, and need to speak out more.\u201d I\u2019ve had more than one client whose job review\u00a0included that feedback. 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