Personal note

I have been thinking a lot about the benefits of coaching this week, because I see so many people who are willing to continue on their stress-filled path, believing there is no immediate solution for their pain.

So I’d like to ask you this: Do you …

…  feel that other people  don’t understand how hard you are working, and just keep loading more on you, when you are already overwhelmed?

…  find that you can’t see any creative ways to show your real value to your manager?

… worry that, instead of the 10,000 steps we are advised to take each day,  you only average about 200?  And your blood pressure is rising?

…  smart under the repeated put-downs you get from someone else but you don’t know how to respond?

… worry about how little time you are spending with your loved ones?

That’s STRESS.

It doesn’t have to be that way!   There are solutions, but when you are under stress you don’t see them, because Stress Makes You Stupid!

But:

• Allison B. found a way to let her boss know exactly how hard she was working, got a change in her assignments,  AND A RAISE!

• Sean L. implemented a simple program –  with her boss’s approval – to keep her co-workers from dumping work on her and disrupting her priorities.

• Alicia P. made one little change in her life, and landed a big enough client to net her big praise AND a big year-end bonus.

• Jessica C. found she could get enough physical exercise into her busy day  – without giving up any important activity – to feel better and sleep better. And at the same time, she found more quality time with her young son.

• Corinne D learned how to take care of herself in stressful conversations, while remaining her diplomatic, friendly image.

All of these people did it through getting coaching where they could access wisdom they would not otherwise have encountered, plan how to incorporate this wisdom into their personal life and schedule, and got the support to keep these healthy, happy changes going.

What are you waiting for?  After reviewing these client successes, I decided to continue my offer of a complimentary coaching session until the end of June so that more people can take advantage of it.

Sign up now; spaces are limited: http://creativelifechanges.com/letstalk/

Are you a highly sensitive person?

Are you one of those people who startles easily? Finds that you’re running a little too fast or being a little too concerned at what later look like minor events?

You’re not crazy, you’re not alone, and it’s not your imagination, nor is it a lack of self control, as you may have imagined (or been told).

Some people just have nervous systems that react more quickly and strongly than average. This difference starts at birth and persists throughout life.

According to Harvard researchers and authors of The Long Shadow of Temperament, Jerome Kagan and Nancy Snidman, approximately 15 to 20 percent of newborns show increased heart rate, jerky movements, and crying in response to moving mobiles and tape recordings of human voices. These differences correlate with later tendencies to be more fearful and timid. In fact, higher heart rates have even been observed in utero in babies later identified as timid. Well, who wouldn’t be a little timid if the world was a place that intruded too harshly on your senses?

In her book, Highly Sensitive People, Elaine Aron describes HSPs as people who react strongly to external stimulation, such as sudden loud noises, overly bright lights, and even to other people’s moods or to violent movies and TV shows. They are easily affected by substances such as caffeine and easily disrupted by hunger. (She does describe the upside of all this, including deeper enjoyment of music and art, appreciation of fine scents and tastes, and a rich imagination.)

As an HSP, does that mean you are doomed to go through life protecting yourself from being startled by avoiding stimulating activities, events, and people? Or feeling too easily intimidated by social situations?

No, you can tame those tendencies to respond too strongly to your world, and quiet that anxious brain by adding meditation to your daily schedule.

And, no, you don’t have to retreat for an hour or so in order to meditate. Research shows that as little as 5 minutes per day can bring beneficial changes in the area of your brain where anxiety is located.

The Minneapolis Star Tribune recently had an article about meditation myths. A persistent myth is that you must somehow think about “nothing.” (Huh?)

The Star Tribune quoted Stefan Brancel, president of the University of Minnesota’s Mindfulness for Students Club, as saying, “Some people can do that, but only after years of disciplined practice. If the average person tries to do it, you’re actually going to produce more stress because you’re going to start criticizing yourself for failing.”

So just focus on your breathing, and when your mind wanders, just gently bring your attention back to your breathing. That’s all? Yup, that’s all, but doing it regularly trains your brain to take charge over the impulsive lower level processes, where emotions take over. Another way to describe what you are doing to your brain is that you’re building will power, as you gently train those higher levels of your brain.

If you’re an HSP, and you are delaying taking charge of your brain and your life until you have more time, you might want to rethink your schedule. Persistent low level stress is a real killer, and it can be very subtly wearing away at your body – heart, arteries, brain cells, and all.

So take the time right now – whether you are an HSP or not.

***
Is you life is filled with too much stress?
Do you feel you don’t have time to:
Sit down and relax
Meditate every day
Exercise

The Confident Introvert

“What are they afraid of?” my department manager used to ask after meetings in which a number of department members sat, silent and resentful, while he was unaware that his habit of springing surprise agenda items and asking for an immediate decision was very upsetting to these talented, educated introverts. Understanding, appreciating and utilizing the skills of introversion are foreign ideas to some – even to introverts. Now you can read about it in
The Confident Introvert.
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