I remember years ago reading a book by a cognitive psychologist, who said, “It is the goal of every good therapist to dispel his patient’s illusions.”
I was horrified: I love illusions and fantasy, believing they make our lives richer, more creative, and somehow better.
So I was heartened to read the thoughts of Richard Lazarus, Ph.D. at the University of California at Berkeley, who had thought through this issue very carefully.
He noted that illusions constitute a denial of reality. However, he pointed out that to deny facts was unhealthy while to deny the implications of those facts can be healthy.
Example: a fire in a frying pan (a fact) can escalate in your mind into thoughts of the entire house burning, destroying treasured possessions such as your late mother’s handmade quilt, your treasured awards for sports excellence, and even Fido, slumbering peacefully upstairs.
Funny? Not really. Many people lead their lives by seizing on a small fact and embroidering a fanciful, usually negative, story of what could happen. For the truly nervous, a small crack in the foundation will lead to the entire house crashing down. A corporate overhaul will not only lead to loss of job, namely that of the worrier, but an entire long-term economic crisis and a significant reduction in quality of life.
So stick to the facts. What is actually true right now, in this moment?
What happens to you when you fantasize disaster is not pretty. The stress actually shuts down the executive planning and creative section of your brain leaving you incapable of pursuing or constructing a positive outcome.
When the fact that you encounter could lead to negative outcomes, pause, take a deep breath as if breathing in and out through your heart. Continue this for several minutes. This will increase the blood flow to the creative areas of your brain and allow you to imagine different, better outcomes and even start to figure out what steps you might take to bring those outcomes about.
Lynette Crane is a Minneapolis-based future-focused thought leader, speaker, and coach.
After creating the first college course in the Psychology of Stress over 40 years ago, she turned her attention uncovering the leadership potential of introverts in her ground-breaking book, Quiet Brilliance: Solving Corporate America’s Leadership Crisis with ‘Hiding in Plain Sight’ Talent.
Her newest program, Evolutionary Resilience Roadmap, based on the latest research in neuropsychology and quantum physics, is designed for people overwhelmed by the anxiety and uncertainty of our turbulent world, giving them the skills to develop clarity, coherence, and creativity.
