Trust is the gold coin of relationships both personal and professional. Without it, no successful transaction, interpersonal or business, can take place.
So, what do you look for when you need to trust in order to connect and interact with another? Do you have a list of trustworthy qualities that you can articulate, or do you answer to your gut? And how often does your gut say “no” vs. a warm, welcoming “yes”?
How often have you been wrong and ended up lamenting the fact that you were not vigilant enough or, even worse, that you missed a sparkling opportunity?
The one supportive relationship you may not have been encouraged to consult is the one with your heart, which could help clarify your thinking about what you really want.
You may have had this intuitive experience when you are on a vacation or otherwise in a situation that disconnects you from your daily life and allows you to relax.
It’s much more difficult to attain that peaceful state of inner communication under stress, which is much of the time nowadays.
Here are some simple tactics to help guide you.
Ask yourself when you say “yes” do you really mean “yes” or do you mean: I’ll go along with this because I’m not sure I have a right to what I really want, or because I don’t want to offend someone else, or because I don’t want to stand out in a crowd, or because….
Are you able to say “no” easily without fear because you are sure of your values and your tastes?
Do you accept the “noes” and “yesses” of others easily, or do you react as if their choice hurts you personally?
When you are faced with either a yes or a no decision, stop, take a deep breath, and pay attention to your body, especially your heart and your gut. You might want to leave your brain out of this discussion.
Once you establish a calm center of self-trust it is much easier to see clearly where other people stand and make your decision about how to deal with them
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Lynette Crane is a Minneapolis-based future-focused thought leader, speaker, and coach.
After creating the first college course in the Psychology of Stress over 40 years ago, she turned her attention uncovering the leadership potential of introverts in her ground-breaking book, Quiet Brilliance: Solving Corporate America’s Leadership Crisis with ‘Hiding in Plain Sight’ Talent.
Her newest program, Evolutionary Resilience Roadmap, based on the latest research in neuropsychology and quantum physics, is designed for people overwhelmed by the anxiety and uncertainty of our turbulent world, giving them the skills to develop clarity, coherence, and creativity.
